Valentine’s Day is the only day of the year we dedicate to love. In a fair world, the day would celebrate the various facets of love: romantic, familial and platonic. That doesn’t seem to be the case, though. Instead, we’ve mostly gotten tangled up in the romantic part of that list. As for that, our wise ancestors seem to have recognized romance as a money-making machine long ago.
Let’s face it, Valentine’s Day is a great time for florists, candy purveyors, card shop owners and upscale restaurants. However, it presents a challenge for the rest of us, such as how to make a grand gesture without wringing our hands or spending too much money.
Truth be told, the majority of us have essentially been told since kindergarten that receiving Valentine’s Day cards is an indicator of whether you are liked and accepted — or not. If you didn’t receive a card at your kindergarten class exchange, it was a very hard blow for your young, emerging ego.
After kindergarten and elementary school, Valentine’s Day tended to morph into something else. Schoolmates stopped bringing their heart-shaped, pink “I Love You”– inscribed candy to class and slowly adopted the adult version of proper Valentine’s Day behavior. It turns out that, no matter your age, how you are treated on this day is often perceived as a measure of your worth. Hence, many now-grown-up people, due to near-indoctrination in childhood, still feel that how they are treated on the 14th of February any given year reflects their lovability.
It wasn’t always thus. The first heart-shaped box of chocolates decorated with roses and Cupids was sent by Richard Cadbury in 1861. There is no indication that either the recipient or the sender was particularly lovable. However, we assume Mr. Cadbury wasn’t rejected because his gesture caught on big-time, eventually leading to over 68 million pounds of chocolate sold every year.
Well, how amazing is that? And who sent the first romantic card that stoked this madness anyway?
Let us visit the year 1,415, when Charles, Duke of Orleans, languished in the Tower of London. It was a miserable time for Charles, who wrote a loving, sincere card to his wife, calling her “My very gentle valentine.” Unfortunately, she died shortly after receiving it, making the card all the more poignant. Word apparently got out, and what we surmise to be the first Valentine’s Day card made its romantic and dramatic debut.
And so here we are, 600 years later, still celebrating love, hope and sometimes the victory of Cupid’s arrow hitting home. To all you would-be valentines struggling with the fear of not being lovable enough to be acknowledged on this special day, remember that kindergarten is over and we’re supposedly all grown up. Please consider being especially nice to your loved ones, and maybe even a little nice to those you don’t love. They need it most of all.
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